Last month, we discussed how our money triggers can influence the financial decisions we make. Today, we’ll explore how to begin to identify our financial triggers.
Each of us has a “money story”—a narrative shaped by our life experiences. This story often runs in the background of our minds, quietly influencing how we relate to money. For example, were your parents stressed about finances? Maybe you grew up constantly worrying about how to afford things or how expensive everything was. Or conversely, maybe your parents always portrayed that there was no need to worry about money – no matter what, there would always be enough. These early experiences stick with us, even if we’re not always aware of it.
Our money story, combined with our money personality,
heavily influences how we feel and behave around money.
As Lewis Howes (of the School of Greatness) suggests, the first step to untangling our money story is to develop awareness—awareness of how we feel and react when it comes to money. Whether we’re receiving money or spending it (like paying bills or earning a paycheck), it’s worth asking ourselves:
- How do I feel in this moment—anxious, calm, excited, desperate?
- Were finances a source of stress, shame, or freedom in my household?
- Do I tend to avoid money, obsess over it, or hoard it?
- How am I emotionally attached to money?
- What do I notice about my thoughts and feelings around money?
- How does my money personality affect my feelings about money?
By starting to recognize these patterns, we can better understand how our past experiences and personality traits intertwine to shape our financial behaviors.
As your awareness grows, work on building a financial plan that both acknowledges your money story and personality while also taking care of both your present and future self.
Remember, money is a tool to achieve your goals, not the goal itself.
A healthy relationship with money honors where you are now
and where you want to be in the future.
For example, if you identify as a spender, allocate money for enjoyable purchases now, while also setting aside savings so your future self can also have funds to enjoy. Conversely, if you’re a saver or a security seeker, build the financial safety net you need, but also give yourself permission to enjoy some of your money today.
Finally, consider finding mentors to support you on your financial journey—people who can teach you how to receive, manage, and spend money in a way that aligns with your values and goals.
Knowledge is power and the more you understand yourself
and your family, the more success you will have.
No matter what your situation is, you can change it!
Remember, you’ve got this!
Here is a sample to do list to help you get started:
1. Get Curious About Your Money Story
Start by reflecting on your past experiences with money. Ask yourself:
- What messages did I receive about money growing up?
- Were finances a source of stress, shame, or freedom in my household?
- How do those early memories still influence me today?
Action: Spend 10–15 minutes journaling about your earliest money memories. You might be surprised what comes up!
2. Build Awareness Around Your Emotions
Notice how you feel when dealing with money. For example:
- How do you feel when you pay bills?
- How do you feel when you get paid?
- Do you feel guilty when spending? Or fear when saving?
Action: Next time you engage in a financial task (like online shopping or checking your bank account), pause and ask, “What emotion am I feeling right now?” Name it—don’t judge it.
3. Understand Your Money Personality
Are you a spender, saver, security seeker, risk taker, flyer or a mix? Knowing this helps you build a financial road map that actually fits you—not just what a book or app says you should do.
Action: Once you know your type, tailor your money habits accordingly.
For example:
- Spenders: Set aside a specific amount of “fun” money in your plan so you can enjoy guilt-free spending, without compromising your overall wellbeing.
- Savers/Security Seekers: Add a “joy fund” to avoid burnout from always putting off enjoyment.
- Risk Takers: Set aside funds to follow your passions, but also set aside funds to fall back on if the venture falls through.
4. Plan for Both Your Present & Future Self
A healthy relationship with money honors where you are now and where you want to be in the future. (If you have a partner, be sure to integrate their personality and needs as well)
Action: When you plan your budget (which is just your plan for how you want to use your money) ask:
- “What does my current self need to feel good?”
- “What will my future self need to feel good?”
- “What does my partner’s current self need to feel good?”
- “What will my partner’s future self need to feel good?”
Try to create balance—don’t ignore one for the other.
5. Seek Guidance and Support
You don’t have to figure it all out alone. Find mentors, advisors, or even friends who are financially wise and emotionally supportive.
Action: Reach out to someone you trust and say, “I’m working on building a healthier relationship with money—would you be open to chatting about your journey?”
This material is for educational purposes only and
should not be construed as advice.
It is provided without warranty of any kind.